Headlines 2/27/16

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie just endorsed Donald Trump for president, apparently drawn by Trump’s call for something HUGE.

Christie endorsed Trump after the governor was relieved that nowhere in Trump’s plan is a bridge to the 21st century.

Christie’s announcement paved the way for a possible Trump/Christie GOP ticket for 2016. In a related story, Dunkin Donuts announces plans for 200 more stores in the Washington, D.C. area.

Christie told reporters that Trump piqued his interest when there was a mention of some amazing Buffet in a restaurant called Warren’s?

Trump said he would consider Christie a good running mate because Christie could bring a softer tone to Trump’s message.

A Trump/Christie ticket would certainly Make America Grate Again.

International Space Station one-year resident Scotty Kelly is about to return to earth after his extended stay in space.  When asked about any feeling of isolation, Kelly indicated that he used an Internet connection to stay in tune with what’s going on in the world and especially America.  In a related story, Scott Kelly officially requested not to return to Earth and instead to be jettisoned into space.

Kyle Busch was moved from pole position to the back of the pack at the upcoming Sprint NASCAR Atlanta race due to an obscure and rarely enforced NASCAR rule that banned something called cheating.

Trump told reporters that there is no bombshell in his most recent tax returns, but admitted there are questionable business practices related to inappropriate income deferrals and tax loopholes that may lead to serious penalties, including potential jail time.  But no bombshells.

The Pentagon warned that the US nuclear arsenal is aging and needs updating, because if that is not done, the Nukes will become Oldkes…

West Virginia Republicans overwhelmingly voted to support blocking Common Core Science standards in order to restrict presentation of information that blame climate change on human causation in the state’s science courses .  They were later stymied because apparently West Virginia schools don’t have any courses in their curriculum related to science or technology.

Passengers on a plane in Arizona reportedly clapped when a young child was removed from the plane after he suffered an outbreak stemming from an allergic reaction to a dog onboard.  The boy was traveling with his terminally ill father.  Clearly, the plane failed to identify that other less-than-human passengers that should have been ejected instead.

Phil Collins plans to return the music making, quoted as saying “Take a new look at me now”, and audiences were quoted as saying  “please, Phil, just give us ‘one more night’ without your music”.

… audience replied with “we’ve already had our fill, Collins”

Republican leaders are sidelining a proposal to convert the Federal Air Traffic Controllers to being privatized and owned by the airlines, which is surprising to me because nothing says safety, efficiency and concern for passengers like broken seat backs, recurring flight delays due to mechanical problems and that crabby airline attendant who won’t give me the whole can of soda.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Headlines 2/27/16

  1. Kyle Busch was moved from pole position to the back of the pack at the upcoming Sprint NASCAR Atlanta race due to an obscure and rarely enforced NASCAR rule that banned something called cheating.
    Very funny

    Trump told reporters that there is no bombshell in his most recent tax returns, but admitted there are questionable business practices related to inappropriate income deferrals and tax loopholes that may lead to serious penalties, including potential jail time. But no bombshells.
    Funny and sad at the same time

    Liked by 1 person

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