World Local News – Husband Confirms That Hedges Will Not Just Trim Themselves

TRUCKEE, CA – Thad Commerce had grown tired of hearing his wife Bernice’s postulation.  By his recollection, no one has ever tested this theory that  Bernice had repeated over the years.  The challenge was in deciding how long Mr. Commerce had to wait to confirm an otherwise unprovable negative proof.

“She leaves for parchment ironing class every Sunday morning and always tells me that the hedges won’t trim themselves so I decided it was time to maybe test that theory out.”

How long did he wait before he could be sure?

“Well, let’s see, there was the 1:00pm Niners versus the Broncos game, then the 4:30pm Bucs versus the Saints game and finally the 8:30pm Patriots versus the Colts game.”

At that point, Thad wandered outside around 11:30pm and confirmed in fact that the hedges had not trimmed themselves.

“I even tossed the shears into the hedge, you know, to be sure? But it may take a few more weeks to make totally sure, though – plus I gotta find the shears I guess.”

 

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