World Local News – Man Finally Moves Over From Left Lane

Lake Mary, FL – Ronald Dean’s quest to teach other drivers the law ended abruptly as he lit his turn signal and slowly moved over from the left lane of Interstate 4 and then took nearest exit into the small city.

“I guess people just don’t know what the words speed limit mean anymore”, he remarked as he double parked in front of a local Publix grocery store with his hazard lights on. “Or the word courteous”, he continued, “like not tailgating me, which is totally rude.”

Mr. Dean, a former styrofoam wig salesman, dashed into the Publix to purchase soup.  We followed him in while he continued to explain.

“See? It’s more dangerous for me to drive around looking for a parking space than it is for me just to double park out front and dash in. It’ll only take a few minutes.  I’m in fact being a responsible driver by avoiding opportunities for accidents.  Parking lots are a common place for fender benders.”

He then purchased fifteen cans of soup, eight of which had no price on them and required a price check, made a beeline for the express lane that noted 10 items or less, paid by personal check, that required a manager’s approval, and went to the customer service desk to purchase nine different scratch off game tickets.  “This pays for education in the state”, he noted as a line formed behind him.

As he exited the store and our interview ended, Dean confirmed that he has had many threats of bodily harm over the years.

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